*How Can I Understand Your Agony in Gethsemane?* – Contemplation
Lord, what was the agony that caused your sweat to fall like drops of blood to the ground? Such an agony can never be comprehended. I heard you pray, “Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me, yet not my will, but yours.”
What is in that cup? I wonder… Some say it is suffering, some see it as God’s will. I cannot help but ask: What was the struggle? Why was your soul overwhelmed with sorrow, to the point of death?
You are the Son of God. Your supernatural power can overcome anything in the world. You raised Lazarus from the dead. Death is not a threat to you. Then, why did facing death seem so painful for you?
Were you afraid of physical pain and the torture of being nailed to the cross? No! You have gone through life’s hardships; you are the Son of God; you can withstand any pain. But I know you are the Son of Man, you know hunger, thirst, sorrow, and tears. Physical pain is real to you.
Were you afraid of injustice and misunderstanding? You have been perfect justice, freeing people from oppression. Soon, you’ll be crucified with the world’s greatest injustice. Is it hard to swallow? You’ve lived with misunderstanding, judgments, and curses…
Were you afraid of being despised, hanging naked on the tree? Oh, what shame! But you are holy, without sin. How could they shame you as the greatest sinner?
Why did you go to the cross? You knew why you were born: to die. You said you’d die, be buried, and rise again. Did you hesitate, knowing some would reject your love?
I see a great battle raging – the Evil One fighting its final war. Satan seems to win small battles, but the Holy Spirit said，you will crush its head!
In dark Gethsemane, I see you struggling to obey your Father. You and the Father are one. Then, I understand: on the cross, you cried, “My God, why have you forsaken me?” Your Father has turned away, for you are bearing the sin of all mankind.
What amazing love! To take my sin and be separated from your Father… I understand your agony now. You struggled for me, gave up your will for me. You saw the joy of the resurrection in front of you and endured the cross, scorning its shame. You conquered death, leading me to triumphant Resurrected life!
Lest I forget Gethsemane,
lest I forget Thine agony,
lest I forget Thy love for me,
lead me to Calvary.
— Christine Liu, Good Friday, 2009
（Revised, Maundy Thursday, 2026）
*我怎能明白你在客西馬尼園的痛苦？* – 默想
主啊，是什麼樣的痛苦讓你的汗如血滴般落在地上？這樣的痛苦實在無法理解。我聽到你祈禱：「阿爸，父啊，在你凡事都能；求你將這杯撤去。然而，不要從我的意思，只要從你的意思。」
那杯裡面是什麼？我想知道……有人說是苦難，有人說是神的旨意。我不禁要問：那是什麼樣的掙扎？為什麼你的靈魂充滿憂傷，以至於死？
你是神的兒子，你的超自然力量可以克服世上的一切。你曾使拉撒路從死裡復活，死亡對你來說不是威脅。那麼，為什麼面對死亡時，你卻如此痛苦？
你害怕身體的疼痛和被釘十字架的折磨嗎？不！你經歷過生活的艱難，你是神的兒子，你可以承受任何痛苦。但我知道，你是人子，你知道飢餓、乾渴、憂傷和眼淚。身體的疼痛對你來說是真實的。
你害怕不公正和誤解嗎？你一直是完美的正義，解救了許多被壓迫的人。不久，你將被世上最大的不公正釘上十字架，這難以下嚥嗎？你的一生充滿了人們的誤解、責罵和詛咒……
你害怕被掛在木頭上裸露而感到羞恥嗎？哦，這是多大的羞辱！但你是聖潔的，沒有罪。怎麼能把你當成最大的罪人一樣羞辱？
為什麼你要上十字架？你知道你為何而生：為死。
你說過你要死在十架，埋葬，第三天復活。
你是否會因為知道有人會拒絕你的愛而猶豫？
啊！我看見一場極大的戰鬥——邪惡者正在進行牠的最後奮戰。撒旦似乎贏得了小勝利，但你將粉碎牠的頭！
在黑暗的客西馬尼，我看見你掙扎著順服你的父親。你和父是一體的。現在我明白了：你在十字架上呼喊：「我的神！我的神！為什麼離棄我？」你的父親轉面不看你，離棄了你，因為你背負著人類所有的罪。祂不能接近罪。
多麼奇妙的愛！代我受過，為我承擔罪孽，與你的父親分離……我現在明白你的痛苦了。你為我而掙扎，為我放棄了自己的意思。你看見了前面復活的喜樂，忍受了十字架，藐視了它的羞辱。你戰勝了死亡，帶領著我走復活生命之路！
主啊，不要讓我忘記你在客西馬尼園的痛苦……
使我莫忘客西馬尼
莫忘我主痛苦受死
莫忘我主仁愛慈悲
領我到髑髏地
Christine Liu 瑞芳2009年的受難日默想
修訂於 洗腳日/聖餐日 2026年
詩歌：Lead Me to Calvary 領我到髑髏地
Papa Frank Liu 
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